Banded for a week.
2008-02-10 // 6:27 p.m.

Six days out from surgery and I'm healing very nicely.

Most of my steristrips have fallen off the wounds and I'm feeling pretty good - but I still get tired easily.

I stood on the scale Friday morning and couldn't believe it - I am down 15 pounds from my highest weight, right before the liquid diet started. That's AMAZING. I've set some small goals for myself - 262 by April 12, 232 by August 5 - and they feel a lot more reachable now.

But the liquid diet. JESUS CHRIST. I have now been on a liquid diet for 3 weeks and am ready to kill myself. I threw a total strop on the OH website and basically asked for permission to cheat and start on the mushies/puree stage NOW so I could have some relief and some choice. No luck and I was soundly put in my place. But I got some great ideas - blended soups, chocolate milk and even ice cream (which I'm not planning on doing). I see the surgeon on Thursday for my follow-up and I'm going to start the mushies on Saturday. I can handle that. Only 5 more days of fucking liquids.

I totally fucked up today, though, because I went into some bad head space and old habits and decided to blend baked potato and bacon soup with some cheddar cheese soup. And eat it all really fast and eat it ALL. Well. Five hours later and I'm still shitting and feeling uncomfortable. No wonder - my pouch isn't equipped for 3 cups of really rich fattening soup. What a retard I am.

So I'm back on just drinking some water and no more food until tomorrow. I plan to get up and work from home for as long as possible. I'm not due to go back to work until Wednesday, but I might try to go in on Tuesday, just for half a day. I feel so out of control not being at my desk.

I do have to say - SNG was fantastic this weekend. She bought me soup and Vitamin Water and acquiesced to my every whim. She was also a bad girl and enabled me in a very bad way (I'm not supposed to have sex for two weeks after the operation. Oops.).

Haven't made any NA meetings, but I've been talking on the phone, had NA visitors and will assume my first NA position since the relapse on Tuesday night when I attend Area.

One of my big supports during this week has been Heidi , my fellow WLS-er. She introduced me to the amazing Sparkpeople site , where you can set your daily nutrition and exercise goals - and it's free and VERY comprehensive. We also shared our goals with one another - both long-term and short-term - and I wanted to post mine...so I can remember.

Weight-wise - 30 lbs off by April 2 and 60 pounds off by August 5

Start the NYU Certificate Program in Fundraising

Take the Landmark Advanced Course

Get promoted to Assistant Director

Go to Yoga and to a Martial Arts class without being a total baby and afraid that everyone is going to Stare At The Fat Girl.

Maybe move in with SNG?

Have all my current debt paid by June and start tackling all the old judgements to raise my credit score.

Go to 1 NA meeting a week AND GET A NEW SPONSOR (and send Ellen an email telling her that I'm doing so...not that she'll respond).

It's good to be back...and it's good to move forward.

What I'm reading: Got a $180 Amazon gift certificate, so I ordered tons of books!
What I'm hearing: MSNBC - love the prison life shows.
What I'm learning: I get one bottle of Vicodin. Nothing more. I don't need it.

(4) got something to tell me? confess!

fierce // fabulous

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Past entries:
You've got the moves, baby, I've got the motion. - 2008-09-14
More more more - 2008-08-31
More more more - 2008-08-31
Relapse. Again. - 2008-08-28
Moving on up.... - 2008-08-14