In the spirit of three stars/delivering signs and dusting from their eyes
2008-07-17 // 2:53 p.m.

The bright side is, I'm eating very healthy frozen yogurt with lychees.

The downside is, everything else is a total headache.

It really all stems from The Commute from Hell. I'm just wiped out. Done. Down for the count. I'm still wound up by the time I get home at night (anywhere from 7:30 - 10 pm, depending on if I miss a fucking train - and they only run once an hour out to the boondocks) that I don't fall asleep until 12:30 and then BOOM! the alarm clock goes off at 6:15 am. It is So Suck. I am trying to set boundaries at work and leave at 5:30 pm and not get sucked into a vortex of gay events. It makes any time I spend in the city stressful, always thinking, "Am I going to miss the train? Am I going to miss the train?"

Bright side: I swim three times a week and am up to 25 laps.

Down side: I was so enthralled reading the new Madonna book by her brother that I missed my stop last night and Gina had to pick me up at some random station.

Bright side: We are moving soon.

Down side: Saving money to move is nearly impossible. Especially since I discovered www.etsy.com.

Bright side: The Boss is on Fire Island this week with her woman, so I have been Taking It Easy.

Down side: I am not getting anything done.

Bright side: My fill is working nicely and I'm not eating crap.

Down side: Went to the doctor today and I have gained six pounds since my initial huge 30 pound weight loss after surgery. This is normal - and I've lost 3 pounds since this month's fill - but am still depressed.

Bright side: Tossed a ball around with my co-worker today. Feels good to have a glove and moving my body.

Down side: Am so tired that I can barely focus.

Bright side: Have a mini-retreat tomorrow and then next Friday as well. Will be able to leave the city tomorrow at 3 pm and get home to swim!!!

Down side: Am so tired and irritable (and off meds) that I flew into a rage this morning about being late for train (although I did make it) and made Gina cry. This is like shooting a mockingbird. I am evil, so it's okay to make me cry, but Gina is all Sweetness and Light.

Bright side: Made up instantly, felt good to get some stuff out (I don't feel independent, need to get a car of my own when we move, hate depending on her) and will probably lead to make up sex tonight.

Off topic, but I think I know what I want for my new tattoo. Love it? Hate it?

Just to remind me about the wonder of possibility.

What I'm reading: Christopher Ciccone's Madonna book. Did you think I wouldn't buy it?
What I'm hearing: Sufjan Stevens. Just the thing to calm me down.
What I'm learning: To consider others' feelings.

(1) got something to tell me? confess!

fierce // fabulous

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Past entries:
You've got the moves, baby, I've got the motion. - 2008-09-14
More more more - 2008-08-31
More more more - 2008-08-31
Relapse. Again. - 2008-08-28
Moving on up.... - 2008-08-14