Ravyn-Simone is smokin'. Am I a child molester?
2008-08-03 // 10:26 p.m.

Haven't updated, as I've had these huge crushing panic attacks about work and just couldn't deal. I mean, seriously. On Thursday night I took my friend Dwayne out for dinner and an Off-B'way show and was on my Blackberry the entire fucking time. Really rude and awful. God. There is so much to do and NOTHING has changed. I know, I know, it's a nonprofit but jeezus, I need some freaking help. Not happening. So I'm sending out the resumes again. I noticed that my job description hasn't changed AT ALL in two years, even with my promotion. That's so fucking wrong.

Plus, the person above me just got DEMOTED to below me. How weird is that?? And the upper management is acting like it's a good thing for him when we all realize what it means: one slip and you're dead.

Anyway. I'm so overloaded and freaked out that after my laps today, I dried off and did seven hours of work. I was supposed to go home to see my parents this coming weekend, Friday-Tuesday, but I think I have to cancel. This is so upsetting, especially because I just want a hug from my mom, you know? I saw them last month and I swear, I SWEAR, I'm going to go home for a long weekend at the end of September. No matter what.

I managed to set up a calendar for myself of my schedule and it's seriously frightening. I have so much to accomplish and I have no idea how I'm going to do it in one piece.

In good news, I was buying cold cuts today and the nice woman behind the counter smiled at me and offered me slices of the low-sodium bologna she was slicing for me. My god, the kindness of people not living in the city limits!

In bad news, I am totally broke and am freaking out how I'm going to save up the $1,500 I need to move in October (that's my half of the moving costs).

Fuuuuuuuck.

In other good news, I have lost seven pounds since my fill three weeks ago. In bad news? I was so stressed that I ate the following this weekend:

- Wendy's hamburger
- Wendy's fries
- Wendy's double cheeseburger with bacon
- More Wendy's fries
- Small movie popcorn
- Peanut M&Ms
- Sausage McGriddle
- McDonald's hash brown

...and threw it all up, every time. What the fuck is wrong with me? Why did I think this would be okay? Why did I let Gina enable me? Why did I enable her? I can't eat that shit - literally, as I puke it up from the lap band. What a mighty retard I can be.

I actually have some random pics to post, but it's 10:45 pm and I have to be up at the asscrack of dawn for my fun fun fun 2 hour commute in. I'm amusing myself by reading through the collected works of some of my favorite diarists. Like my lovely hothead and the always amazing thesugarmonster.livejournal.com.

What I'm reading: The stupidest mystery books ever - they are CULINARY mysteries with terrible recipes - but they were free.
What I'm hearing: Gina watching "The Princess Diaries." She's so dorkalicious. Is it wrong that I find Ravyn-Simone really hot?
What I'm learning: How to plan.

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fierce // fabulous

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Past entries:
You've got the moves, baby, I've got the motion. - 2008-09-14
More more more - 2008-08-31
More more more - 2008-08-31
Relapse. Again. - 2008-08-28
Moving on up.... - 2008-08-14