It's not perfect - but it's okay.
2008-01-22 // 8:19 p.m.

Still blown away by Heath Ledger's death. Going home on the subway, it was all anyone was talking about and there were lots and lots of news vans around SoHo. I feel sad, I feel terrible for Michelle Williams and his daughter, Matilda.

And I have this nagging feeling that the other shoe is going to drop somehow and it's going to be bad.

The mood in the country sucks. And my mood is equally suck. I have the Period From Hell...huge cramps, lots of bleeding. And I can't take any aspirin, because I'm having surgery soon. I was miserable all day at work and should have just come home early to lie on my couch.

I'm also STARVING. Well, not so much anymore since I ate shit today. I had: two Slimfast, one sugar-free jello snack pak, lots of water, a big salad with spinach, cucumber, tomato, carrots, broccoli - and then chickpeans (not good) and 2 tbsp of fat free dressing (okay). Then, I ate grilled veggies. Then, I came home, depressed and miserable, and ate beef jerky (suggested) and a huge bag of popcorn, because I am lame.

Not terrible...but not great. I can already feel my stomach getting a little less, hanging less on my lap when I sit down. But I'm just so damn uncomfortable and in pain. Damn you, menses! Damn you and your womanly ways!

Fuck this day. I'm going to watch "American Idol" and laugh at people.

What I'm reading: My new "Life After Weight Loss" cookbook.
What I'm hearing: Ryan Seacrest and his pussy voice.
What I'm learning: "Perfect" means a lot of different things.

(4) got something to tell me? confess!

fierce // fabulous

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Past entries:
You've got the moves, baby, I've got the motion. - 2008-09-14
More more more - 2008-08-31
More more more - 2008-08-31
Relapse. Again. - 2008-08-28
Moving on up.... - 2008-08-14