Fucking fucking motherfuck.
2008-01-02 // 7:55 p.m.

Have I mentioned how much I love You Are What You Eat? on BBC America? This holistic nutritionist comes into people's homes in England, tells them how ridiculously fat they are, and then makes them eat an 8-week healthy diet. She also makes them poop for her - and then analyzes it, talking about how smelly it was because they're so unhealthy. LOVE this show! Definitely inspiring and now I want a mini-trampoline because her victims all use them.

I had an esophogram today for the upcoming surgery. It was SO COOL. I wish I could have taken a photo. They had me stand up against vertical table, then without warning tilted me back. I was suddenly laying horizontally, clutching a glass of barium.

It feels like everything is about surgery right now. I was making my Grape Nuts this AM when my co-worker said to me, "You only have a few weeks left - shouldn't you be eating everything in sight?" Shouldn't I? I'm torn between eating it all - and trying to gain some control. When I got home tonight (and yes, I left on time at 5:30! Sayonara!), I wanted pizza. Wanted. Pizza. Did NOT want low-fat veggie soup. Pizzza. I immediately got on and IM'd Heidi and told her the dilemna. Damn her and her good self, she told me to make the soup. I did - and it SUCKED. It was like eating a bowl full of anger. So I've now renamed the soup ""Heidi K's 'I-Should-Have-Ordered-Fucking Pizza' Motherfucking Soup."

So I ate an Almond Joy instead and loved it.

All is quiet at work, as most people are still out and The Boss is currently riding an elephant in Thailand. This is good, as I am able to accomplish some surgery planning. My ED will be taking me home from my parents' hotel (where I'm recuperating), but I need someone to stay with me Tuesday and Wednesday nights while my parents go out to dinner. Time to send out an email, begging my friends for help.....

Note to self about What To Do About Ellen: like %%diaryland-bindyree%% said, 'Learn to live by the Japanese saying "When somebody walks away, do not follow them."'

I still haven't finished cleaning out The Closet of Death and there are clothes and random items on my futon in the small green room. Apparently, my keys are also buried underneath and if I don't find them soon, I'm going to have to shell out $6 for new office keys.

Ok, I'm off to watch "Half-Ton Man" on TLC and feel better about myself. It's freeeeeeezing here in NYC, so all of you Northeastern kids, bundle up.

What I'm reading: Work shit.
What I'm hearing: Work shit.
What I'm learning: Work is shit.

(4) got something to tell me? confess!

fierce // fabulous

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Past entries:
You've got the moves, baby, I've got the motion. - 2008-09-14
More more more - 2008-08-31
More more more - 2008-08-31
Relapse. Again. - 2008-08-28
Moving on up.... - 2008-08-14