Why do I stress a (wo)man when there's so many bigger things at hand?
2008-01-23 // 9:26 p.m.

I was playing with my Thai Elephant calendar when I realized - tomorrow is my 33rd birthday. Bizarre. I've been so wrapped up in my surgery that I forgot that I was having a birthday (usually the highlight of my winter).

I'm turning 33 - and this is quickly becoming the most eventful and wonderful year. I can't wait to see what the next few months are going to bring.

It was a good day. I haven't been sleeping well, thanks to the period from hell, so I was up early and into work early and got a ton of work done. Had a good meeting with The Boss...she's really coaching me on how to be a leader. Finally bought some Motrin, extra-strength, so I could sit and work without being doubled over in cramps.

Eating was a little better today...two Carnation Instant Breakfasts (better than the Slimfast), carrots and celery, salad with about 2 oz of cheese and fat-free dressing...and then the inevitable beef jerky and a handful of Olestra-filled potato chips (bad girl). But I still feel really good and like I'm dropping weight - minus the bloating from the period from hell.

Not sure if I mentioned it, but SNG has been incredible about this whole liquid diet. She's also drinking Slimfast, in sympathy (although she's probably eating rice and chicken secretly) and she even came to therapy with me on Monday. It was awesome. When I told people that we went to therapy together, they asked, "What's wrong?" Nothing's wrong - we went so we can be sure to keep communicating effectively as things change because of surgery - we've worked on communicating since Day One. It was great, my therapist loved her, and why not? She's a gem. Even when we disagree on issues - as we do often - it never gets nasty or cruel.

However - my younger cousin got engaged last night and that sent me into a panic spiral. SNG is sloooooow to do things and I keep thinking - what if it takes her 10 or 12 years to be ready for marriage? I don't have that kind of patience. In fact, tonight showed how different we are in our "ready" times. We both have separate ING savings accounts. And I suggested setting up a joint one - and she responded IMMEDIATELY, "No. I'm not ready for that." My feelings were hurt, even though that wasn't the intention. Luckily, I had a sponsor call into Chas and he reminded me that a joint account isn't really necessary unless you're living together and it's for household expenses. And he's right. I learned my lesson with Ginger and sharing a checking account, so what makes me okay to do this? Maybe it's because SNG is so trustworthy and I feel okay having an extra account with her. But I have to remember - just because my cousin is ready for marriage, doesn't mean I am. And just yesterday, I was listening and counseling my best friend in Chicago, who is thinking of ending her marriage, and contemplating how great I have it with SNG. But what's my rush? We can't even agree on whether to live on Long Island or in Brooklyn right now!!

Anyway, I have my presurgical testing tomorrow afternoon at the hospital and then I'm going out on the town with my assistant. I'll be whooping it up with carrot juice and decaffinated teas. Wow. I'm dangerous.

What I'm reading: The new Time Out NY - planning something fun for me and SNG to do on Saturday.
What I'm hearing: Amy Winehouse.
What I'm learning: Slow down - I move too fast.

(8) got something to tell me? confess!

fierce // fabulous

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Past entries:
You've got the moves, baby, I've got the motion. - 2008-09-14
More more more - 2008-08-31
More more more - 2008-08-31
Relapse. Again. - 2008-08-28
Moving on up.... - 2008-08-14