This Hurts Me More Than It Hurts You.
2008-01-10 // 11:25 p.m.

New favorite program (or should I say, 'favourite programme'): Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares .

Thanks for all the comments/suggestions about Trampolinegate. I haven't responded yet, mainly because I just can't bring myself to care that much if she's upset.

I got a call today from my "gay daughter." For those of you not in the know, gay kids often choose a "gay father" or "gay mother" to mentor and guide them. Mine is 20, smart as anything, Jewish - and reminds me of myself at that age, which means she acts like a jackass. Her father died in November and her mother kicked her and her lame girlfriend out of the house. They are now living in Florida, in the girlfriend's father house, and have $2 to their names. I adore this kid. She is a sweetheart. The girlfriend is a completely trashy, snotnose little loser. You just itch to slap her face. And my gay kid is making the same mistakes I did nearly 10 years ago - falling for a girl who is a total leech. I promised to see what I could do to help her get back into college and get a decent job, since the girlfriend can't (won't?) work. But I'm not sure what tack to take - do I scold her for her decisions or do I tell her that I will help her ONLY with school and a job? I wish I could open her eyes to see what a loser this chick is! And stop her from making my same mistakes!

Kids. Gotta love them.

I'm falling apart myself. I haven't shaved my legs in weeks. My pedicure is destroyed. My eyebrows are looking really Kahlo-esque and I'm sick of all my clothes. I'm also eating everything in sight. Fan-fucking-tastic. And to top it all off - I haven't gotten to sleep before 3 am since Sunday. Why??? I'm not particularly freaked out about anything, I'm not drinking too much caffeine, nothing like that. My whole department is feeling just as insomniatic. The Boss spent two weeks in Thailand and is apparently under the impression that New York now runs on the same timeframe as Bangkok - we were both working and emailing each other at 1:30 am this morning. As a result, I showed up to the office at 11 am and she waltzed in around 2 pm.

So, everyone kind of decided to try Tylenol PM tonight. I may be without a sponsor, but I'm not so stupid as to realize that me buying a whole bottle of Tylenol PM is, in a word, retarded. I will take one - and then 14 tomorrow night. So my officemate gave me ONE. That's ONE PILL. I was like, are you kidding? One pill? That won't do shit. But I thought it might help knock me out and I accepted it.

I was shooting the shit with The Boss and said, "I have one Tylenol PM for tonight, but if I'm still struggling with insomnia, can you give me some?"

She said, "Do you think I'm stupid? No. In fact, give me what you have right now."

I said, "Uh....NO."

She said, "Let me see what you have."

She then chased me down the hall and wrestled the pill out of my hand.

You read that right.

My Boss forcibly took my one fucking Tylenol PM out of my hand.

I stomped back to my office and fumed.

I tried to get it back from her before I left and my ED said, "Come on, The Boss, just give it to her."

The Boss said, "Do you have any experience dealing with addicts?" He admitted that he didn't and she said, "Exactly."

I was getting red in the face - I WANTED THAT PILL.

She said, "Good night. Go home. You've been working your ass off - sleep in if you can't stay up."

They both said, "We're doing this because we love you."

I'm surprised they didn't ground me or take away my cell phone privliges.

So now I'm typing this and wondering how the hell I'm going to get any sleep tonight.

Like The Shins say - sometimes, Caring Is Creepy.

What I'm reading: Nothing.
What I'm hearing: Gordon Ramsey.
What I'm learning: Children really do make you turn gray before your time.

(3) got something to tell me? confess!

fierce // fabulous

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Past entries:
You've got the moves, baby, I've got the motion. - 2008-09-14
More more more - 2008-08-31
More more more - 2008-08-31
Relapse. Again. - 2008-08-28
Moving on up.... - 2008-08-14