Food, glorious food.
2008-01-21 // 5:46 p.m.

It's Day 1 of the two-week pre-op liquid diet and I have already chewed my lips and tongue bloody from hunger. No - not even hunger. More like from frustration that I can't put what I want into my mouth. And from restraining myself from just calling up the diner or the pizzeria and getting something real and carb-filled delivered.

If eating shit was an Olympic sport, I would have won a gold for America this weekend. I saw Cloverfield Friday night (and was so freaked out that I couldn't sleep that night and made SNG see it with me AGAIN on Saturday) and ate a big bag of popcorn. After the movie ended, and shaking with 9/11 PTSD, I hoofed it over to Penn Station to catch a train out to Long Island - and used my 30 minute wait time to scarf down 2 hot dogs and french fries from Nedick's.

Finally woke up on Saturday AM and had a piece of SNG's famous quiche. Went back to sleep. Got up, went out to The Hamptons to have lunch with one of SNG's good friends. Ate this delicious white bean, chicken, and cilantro pesto chili...and then helped the other two eat a brownie sundae for dessert. Went home. Took a 3 hour nap. Got up. Ate a metric assload of cheese and crackers - really good cheese from SNG's favorite Cheese Shop. Went to see Cloverfield for a second time. Ate popcorn, nachos and a - wait for it, this is once in a life time - Mountain Dew. Fully sugared after the film, I said, "Can we eat?" and SNG, in her enabling way, enthusiastically took us to some chain restaurant called Chilis, which I kept calling Chochkes (after Office Space, and I ate some gross chicken thing with fries. Didn't care.

Came back to Brooklyn on Sunday morning, with a drive-thru stop at McDonald's to eat something so horrifyingly greasy that I'm glad I'm getting the surgery, or I'd eat twenty of them a day - a McGriddle. It's fucking syrup in a biscuit, with egg and cheese and sausage. And don't forget the grease-filled hash brown! Lunch that day? Mozzarella sticks and pizza. I was so bloated and sick that I couldn't even go out for my "farewell" steak dinner. I just slept and ate, ate and slept. The only exercise I got was sex and calling for takeout.

Today...has been very hard. I'm on my third out of five mandatory SlimFast shakes. I had some sugar free jello and some carrots and celery sticks. For dinner, I'm totally jonesing for my mushrooms and onions sauteed in PAM cooking spray and then put into low-sodium broth. I then get to have two more SlimFasts and if I can handle the excitement, a sugar-free popsicle.

This is my life for the next two weeks.

And then I get cut open and a silicone port will be put in. And I won't be able to eat actual food for another 5-6 weeks after that.

I may completely lose my shit.

In other exciting news, my mom is home from Ireland, SNG came with me to therapy today, which was fantastic - and I have a temporary sponsor.

I'm too hungry to write more, plus I keep having to get up and pee.

This had better be worth it.

What I'm reading: Confessions of a Carb Queen.
What I'm hearing: Some travel show, not about food.
What I'm learning: That I'm really fucking hungry.

(4) got something to tell me? confess!

fierce // fabulous
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Past entries:
You've got the moves, baby, I've got the motion. - 2008-09-14
More more more - 2008-08-31
More more more - 2008-08-31
Relapse. Again. - 2008-08-28
Moving on up.... - 2008-08-14